Dark Days = Inner Light
A week ago, I sat in a group of people who were all openly expressing their hearts. Often in that type of a group during a spring or summer season (and a more light and open time) you feel a turning point, an optimism, a hope, a lightness, belief in love. On that night, I was struck by the fact that a great deal of lovingkindness and support was studded by pain, anguish, grief. And they were all acknowledging it.
Grief comes frequently and that we often feel shame about it. If there has ever been a time in life or the world to realize, recognize, and acknowledge pain and rid ourselves of guilt, it is now. Even the most enlightened people sometimes need to drink a whole bottle of wine in one sitting and cry themselves to sleep, create a nest of the softest blankets and sweaters, and let their bed cuddle them into submission, or drift away on a raft of movies and books and unplug from life and reality for a minute.
And on the flip side of that raw, insatiable pain? Repeat.
Often, I think we feel a *little* of the pain and we tell ourselves that's all we've been allocated, and it's time to "lift our chins", "turn our cheeks", "solider on", and any other applicable euphemism we can bring to mind. In reality, we need to shed the grief shackles as early and as often as we can, and the only way is to break ourselves wide open, feel immensely, and completely surrender. Holding on to even the tiniest sliver of grief feeds it, and with any food grief multiplies like Gremlins in water. If you missed the 80's reference, do a little Googling and watch the clip, it's a good visual for this.
As hard as it is, let's lean on each other, let's show up for ourselves, and let's find a way to support this process. And let's end the cycle of piling grief upon grief, carrying a blackened pirate heart, and barely realizing we're doing it because it feels so "normal". Don't run - turn and face it. Don't retreat - join in. Don't squash or repress, feel until the pain starts to evaporate. Embrace that clean feeling, that liberation that comes with the beginning of something completely virginal and new
Find your own voice.
You are graceful.
You are whole.
You are pure.
You are perfect.
You can be free.
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of Shiraz